


It's too dark to stay in the light

by Dancingspeedster



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Crazy!Barry, Crazy!Iris, F/M, Murderer!Barry, Redemption, Self-Harm, dark!Barry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-26
Updated: 2017-02-26
Packaged: 2018-09-27 03:30:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9950663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dancingspeedster/pseuds/Dancingspeedster
Summary: An AU where Barry is the one to kill Zoom and becomes a murderer.  Iris is the only one who can bring him back.  But what happens when she goes crazy too.





	1. Chapter 1

Barry was locked in the pipeline. Betrayed by his friends because he was "mentally unstable".

'Please' he thought. 'You guys are the ones mentally unstable for locking me in here'

He had no light in him anymore.

So to pass the time,he broke each one of his fingers. He didn't feel pain anymore. 

After 2 hours inside of the cell,he decided to cut off his oxygen. He couldn't breath anymore.

He held his breath until he passed out.

Barry Allen was on the edge of sanity cliffs and was about to fall into the canyon of insanity.

When Wally found him he was passed out and his lips were blue. 

His fingers were mangled and disfigured.

He carried Barry's limp body up to the cortex

"GUYS! HE PASSED OUT!" He screamed 

Caitlin,Cisco,Harry,Jesse and Iris turned to see Barry in Wally's arms.

"Barry!" Iris said in a sob.

"We never should have gone through with this. He could've been dead if we left him in there any longer." Caitlin said,feeling his weak pulse.

Jesse and Harry helped Caitlin move him to the Med Bay.

In all of this Chaos stood Iris in the middle,still trying to make sense of all of this.

Two Hours later

Barry's eyes shot open and he awakened with a screech. He startled the team who had relentlessly been working to find Joe. 

Caitlin ran over to him and tried to help him calm down. He pushed her out of the way and she stumbled. He didn't have friendship anymore.

Iris was in the corner sobbing like she had been for the last two hours. 

Harry restrained Barry as he tried to cut himself with a scalpel that had been left out on the cart.

Iris rocked back and forth saying the three words she couldn't say enough of. "I'm sorry Barry!" Iris closed her eyes and thought about everything that had happened in the last 48 hours.

Barry heard everything Iris was saying. But he didn't forgive her. He didn't have remorse anymore. 

Barry screamed enough to make himself sick. Harry backed away in time for Barry to retch bile.

Caitlin stepped forward again. "Barry,Calm down. We still need to reset your fingers." She tried saying softly.

Barry calmed down a bit.

But to everyone's disbelief,Barry had took his finger between his teeth and pulled it hard. 

A loud CRACK could be heard through out the cortex.

Barry had just reset his own finger. 

Cisco cringed.

Caitlin had tears gathering in her eyes.

Iris was convulsed by sobs.

Harry and Jesse stood in fear.

Wally's eyes widened.

Barry repeated the process 9 more times,Not breaking a sweat.

Barry eventually fully calmed down but he sat in the corner,rolled in a ball rocking back and forth.

Iris sat on the opposite wall doing the same thing.

They both were going crazy.

And this was just the beginning.

Henry Allen died May 17th,2017. 

On that same day,Barry Allen died too.


	2. Redemption and Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iris is crazy now and Caitlin and Cisco have to be the beacons of hope.

13 months later

Barry had hid himself from the world. The last time Team Flash saw him,the memory was not very fond to say the least.

Flashback

_Barry had found Zoom himself.  He ran fast enough to create a giant breach to Earth-2 and brought him to Earth-One. Then,right in front of S.T.A.R Labs...He ended it.  He ended the life of the man who took his own. And that was the end of Zoom's life,But the beginning of the muderer inside Barry Allen's.  Team Flash had seen the whole thing from the security cameras above S.T.A.R Labs.  The Ironic thing was that the place Zoom was killed,It was the same place Barry was almost killed.  At least he saved Joe.  But that was the last person that Barry Allen would save in a long time._

Present Day

Iris lay in the Med Bay.  What was she in for this time.  Cutting herself.  Was she hurt.  Honestly she could care less.  She tried to get up but she felt restraints.  She growled

Caitlin and Cisco walked over.

"Iris,Calm down.  You hit yourself on the head with a baseball bat.  You were this close to brain damage."  Caitlin said, putting her index finger close to her thumb gesturing her words. Iris screeched an ear piercing screech.

Her voice was hoarse and scratchy.

Suddenly she stopped.  But a deranged smile crept apon her beautiful but broken face.  She grabbed a scalpel and stabbed it into her leg.  She laughed uncontrollably until she started to sob.

Caitlin threw the scalpel across the room

"Iris!" She growled losing her patience.  Her hands grew icy and her eyes followed.  Her hair streaked white.  Cisco yelled, "Caitlin,please.  We need you.  Wells is gone.  You are the smartest one here right now and you are the only one who can help us find Barry and save Iris!"

Her hair went back to strawberry blonde. 

She convulsed in sobs.

Cisco comforted her and helped her get Iris's wound stitched up.

Barry's Hideout

Barry sped around his dirty apartment.  It smelled of rotten pizza that no one ate but Barry was too blinded by the darkness to smell it.

He was going to kill everyone.

He had lost too much.  He couldn't feel anymore.

He stopped when he found Iris' picture.  It was in a frame.

He kissed it.

"This is for you."

Suddenly,he grew angry.  He threw the picture against the dented walls.

He sat in the corner and cried for the things he had lost.  The people he killed.  The choices that he made.  The people he loved.  

He looked at his desk.

It had a picture of Him and Iris.

He cried himself to sleep that night.

He dreamt about his family and what his life would have been like if he hadn't killed the people he had killed.  If he saved his mom and dad.  He dreamed of forgiveness.  He dreamed of redemption.

S.T.A.R Labs

Caitlin and Cisco were tired and were on their last limb trying to find Barry.  

More often than not,They found each other crying their eyes out somewhere.

They lost so much together that it didn't feel real.

But the one thing they didn't lose was hope.

Their friends didn't seem to believe in hope anymore.

Joe buried himself in work.

Wally only went to S.T.A.R Labs to stop metahumans and never stopped for convos.

Wells and Jesse couldn't even bear the pain so they locked themselves away on another Earth and hid away.

Iris and Barry had lost all light.

That night,Caitlin and Cisco dreamed of what their lives would have been like on another Universe where Barry hadn't lost hope.  Where he was still the light.

At the Precinct

Joe sat there,On his 14th coffee.  It wasn't healthy but Joe couldn't care less.  What he cared about was stopping these damn metahumans. 

That night,he dreamed about what it would have been like if he still had his son.  Not Wally.  But Barry Allen.  Bear.  His Barry

S.T.A.R Labs

Iris tossed and turned in her sleep. Her dreams were happy and she wanted it to be real.  

She dreamed about what it would have been like if she had married Barry.  If she had kids with Barry. A tear rolled down from her closed eyes.  She knew her dream wasn't real.  But you can't blame a girl for trying.

At the West house

Wally was dreaming about what would happen if he had a regular life. One where he had a family that stayed together.


	3. Chapter 3

Iris's life took a complete tumble after that night. Barry left her with a note and that was the last she heard of him for over a year.

She was broken. And when something  
Is broken,you can try and try but that crack will always be there.

She went insane as her way of coping.

The first couple of months,her sanity slowly deteriorated. First she started with cutting her self. The she lashed out at her boss and knocked him out simply because he wasn't Barry earning her a 1-week suspension since Scott still has a soft spot for her. But one night in particular was the worst. She overdosed in depression drugs and was emitted to a hospital in the ICU for 2-weeks

Iris West was gone. All that was left was a shell of that beautiful woman.

Barry

Barry went insane faster than Iris did. He just snapped. It started when on a mission,he killed a metahuman in the middle of central city. His name was Matt Smith. He was only wanted for petty thefts but for whatever reason,Barry thought he deserved to die.

So he did it.

He killed him.

And that's the day his soul turned Black.

Barry's speed turned Blue naturally.

And Barry Allen left the world.

And out came Black Runner.

He changed his suit.

He didn't want people to think there was hope when there wasn't.

He wanted them to know there would be chaos and death.

 

 

Now

The Black Runner had killed another innocent man who was in his way. He tried to shoot him but he snapped his neck. Suddenly,Kid Flash arrived. The citizens cheered.

Barry smirked.

"Please...You can't. Where's the hero you spent years creating. I know you've been through alot but you can't. Please."

Barry slowly clapped showing sarcasm.

"Whoo. Kid Flash. Great inspirational speech. Almost learning to become the Flash. Just need to a red suit and...tone down on the cockiness. It's annoying as shit." Barry said,Vibrating his Vocal Chords.

Wally threw a hard punch at Barry who dodged it with ease and pushed him into a parked car. 

Barry began to run through the crowd which meant he was about to start ine of his signature mass killing spree's. He almost killed a mother but he stepped back. He remembered his mother. How beautiful she looked. This woman was crying relentlessly and his lips trembled. 

 

Joe and the police force ran throught the crowd. They took their chance of him being distracted to put a brace on his neck.

Wally took him to S.T.A.R labs and threw him in the pipeline where Barry sobbed until he passed out from Hypoglycemia.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for this late as fudge update. I have had so.much.writers.block. Also this is short so...

Iris had gone a month without a breakdown. Her mental health had not been the best these past few months but everyone was supportive of her.

 

But when she asked to see Barry in the pipeline,Joe said no.

 

"Wow. So I can't see my boyfriend now. You guys don't know what it's like to lose someone but still be in arms reach of them." She said angrily.

 

Caitlin and Cisco looked at her.

 

Iris scoffed. "Wow. I'm going to work. Something tells me I have alot of Articles to catch up on she said,exiting the cortex

She left with a sinister smirk. 

She ran to the pipeline room and stared at Barry.

Her eyes filled with tears.

His face now had a scar that went from his cheekbone to the bottom of his narrow frame. His thin frame was not lanky anymore. It was malnourished and skinny. His sleeping body looked peaceful. As if the months of heartbreak he had just had was suddenly gone.

 

She tapped on the glass.

He jumped.

He snarled at first but when he realized it was Iris his expression softened.

 

"What do you want." He said in a way that was not meant to be read as harsh.

Iris put her hands on her hips. "I want to leave with you. This shit isn't cutting it for me."

"You don't know what you're messing with." He scoffed.

"What am I messing with she said playfully and darkly.

His blue lightning flashed and suddenly he appeared face to face with her,the glass only breaking them apart. His green eyes went black.

"The darkness."

She stumbled back falling flat on her butt.

"Well Mr.Allen,"She growled darkly.

"Two can play at that game.


	5. Chapter 5

Barry stared at his arms. "No." He said shakily. "It's happening again." 

Iris looked at him with furrowed brows. 

"What's happening?" She asked.

"The speedforce. I betrayed them. They're punishing me with-". Barry couldn't finish as his eyes rolled to back of his head and he screamed silently.

Iris's brown eyes widened. Her craziness was set aside for a second as she watched Barry writhe around the floor in pain. 

She ran to the group who hadn't left the cortex.

"Guys! You need to come here now." She screamed.

They ran into the pipeline only to find a pale as a sheet Barry with lifeless eyes and parted lips. 

The team quickly opened the cortex and ran over to the dying Barry.

Caitlin checked his pulse. 

"There's nothing physically wrong with him." She said, worry in her voice. 

Cisco looked like he was thinking, brows knit together in confusion.

"A couple weeks ago... I vibed Barry's old suit to find him. I saw Barry... in the speed force. I didn't say anything because it didn't make sense but since Barry said the speed force is punishing him... What if...He's stuck in the speed force." He said.

Joe crossed his arms and raised a brow.

"How the hell does that work. I mean, he's right there." He said, very confused.

Caitlin looked at Joe and nodded, thinking the same thing before looking back at Cisco, expecting an explanation. 

Cisco crossed his arms. "What if... Barry... isn't really Barry." 

Iris raised her brows and made a look that showed she was intrigued. 

"What if, that's a version of Barry and our Barry is still in the speed force." Cisco said.

Caitlin got up after checking Barry's vitals and took off her gloves. "That's still confusing." 

They all stopped their chat when they saw Barry finally close his eyes and steadily breathe. He looked peaceful when he slept.

They all stepped into the cell. Except for Iris who closed the door with a sinister smirk. 

"Well, our chat was fun but, I think I need to find some victims to kill." She said with a scary grin.

She walked out, boot heels clicking against the floor as she straightened out her dress and put on sunglasses.

Joe's eyes widened. Cisco and Caitlin were following, the latter having frost coming from her hands.

"I forgot my cuffs." Caitlin said, her voice becoming amplified like Killer Frost's.

Caitlin began to rock back and forth, knees brought up to her chest as Cisco comforted her.

Joe kicked at the cell door, hoping and praying for a miracle that the door would come down.

 

 

After an hour in there, Caitlin's hair was completely white and her lips were blue. They all just hoped Barry wouldn't wake up because if he did...

Hell would break loose.


	6. Chapter 6

Hi guys! I'm sorry to keep you waiting like that but this is NOT an update. I just wanted to know from my readers whether or not I should continue this story. Comments are appreciated!


	7. Chapter 7

GUYS PLEASE DON'T HATE ME. I KNOW YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN BEGGING ME TO CONTINUE BUT IM COMING OUT WITH A FIC ABOUT THE ALLEN TWINS WITH OVER 5,000 WORDS! I KNOW SOME OF YOU WILL STILL HATE ME BUT BEAR WITH ME. ALSO I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THE FUCK I WAS GOING WITH THIS FIC SO...-  
Dancingspeedster

**Author's Note:**

> SPOILERS BELOW THIS LINE  
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> Caitlin frickin died. The writers gave me a heart attack for a quick sec. omg! April 25th. I'm mad but it's also so cool that the episode is the same day as that news paper article was written. Also...KILLER FROST! I am so incorporating her into my story. Now before my annoying self starts rambling on, I will TRY to make longer chapters but it's almost the end of the school year so teachers just love piling on all the homework. FML THO!


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